Post by clove on Dec 15, 2012 3:51:24 GMT -8
To all interested: I would like to request permission for the completing of the appropriate form (herin included) for your initiation into my harem. You will have to sign and initial into the designated blanks and provide blood samples at a later date if you have signed, granting permission, in the appropriate sections of the contract that would involve any bloodletting.
If necessary, participation in a two-week intensive is recommended for getting you used to listening to and/or joining in with the rest of the group drunkenly/under the influence-like singing songs about using heroin use, suicide, and/or preferred manners of dying before collective sobbing and/or marathons of really bad/cult 90s/80s movies begins.
The two-week intensive is a serious suggestion. The boot camp would, more specifically, be for strengthening mental faculties and teaching the art of accepting the futility of most situations.
After the third time round of When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die by Moby, I have seen a grown man (Owl, you piteous fuckass) crumble, so I would recommend the Intensive to all, but it shall remain optional.
I will seriously draft out a lengthy contract. Now. Here.
Mission statement for Clove’s Harem:
Our goal is the creation of a conciliatory environment for the depraved, ultimately run tyrannically by Clove and the cackling terrors that in turn govern her actions.
Forbidden/taboo within the Harem: bleeding in full bathtubs, partaking in a joint you did not roll yourself for safety issues, tentacles being spoken of in a negative fashion, the shoving of dirty rulers up pretty anuses, the asking of Clove to speak at another funeral, and mushrooms and baked beans.
The following agreement is made to establish a relationship between the Harem and the inductee, with regard to the Harem’s policies.
Section 1:
Assuaging functions. (This is at your convenience, but mandatory when situation presented immediately before you in real time.) Full responsibility for the calming of all other harem members in need of such functions comes into effect upon induction into harem.
Sadly including responsibility to act on the possibility of an overdose, panic attack, serious wounds, hysterical episode, rage-possessed episode, being in a hospital if not needing to be in a hospital, and similar cases in which the one in need of help is not within their average use of mental faculties or having a physical wound/ailment. Assistance posthaste is mandatory.
Sign here to agree ___________________
Section 2:
Concupiscent functions. (Sexy times.)
Sign here to agree ___________________
Section 3:
Possession/ownership/domination, correct and safe S&M. Such activates are to be taken case-by-case, with safety words, rules, boundaries and limitations all set up beforehand in each specific case. Expressions of ownership may, however, include simple gestures are not limited to bed-play/foreplay/during coitus/after coitus.
Sign here to agree ___________________
Section 4:
Cheesepuffs.
Cheesepuffs are for special occasions. These occasions must at least vaguely be related to a failed attempt to pacify. After attempt has been made, the buying and sharing of the cheesepuffs, or Cheetoes, is highly suggested to commence. The disgusting preservatives and not-real-cheese flavors ought to be imbibed only on special occasions and often leading into either Tear situations or Bullshit activities.
Initial here if agreeing to participate in this function at any time in the future towards any harem member _______
Section 5:
“Tear” situations. Participating in purposefully saddening and/or maddening activities with the two or more members of the harem.
Including but not limited to: 90s/80s flicks, terrible songs about drug use and dying, the sharing of fanfiction/comics/book recommendations, discussions concerning man-made concepts which control society/peoples delving into personal stories and situations, sharing music, roaming in graveyards like cliché Goths, and the wearing of clothes much too big for your frame.
Section 6:
Bullshit. The putting up with and celebration of mankind’s most popular and unavoidable past time should be taken as an art form of high degree and analyzed and inspected as such.
Initial here if agreeing to participate in discussions on/about/including bullshit ______
Intensive:
For bettering the abilities of the inductees to partake in activities herein stated or implied. Course is probably including: group discussions amongst those in the Intensive, assignments given and properly corrected, no graded assessments, the violent destruction of prior beliefs/world views, the mandatory creation of a DropBox account for the sharing of reading assignments and (free) music sharing.
Any group discussions to occur for the Intensive would be within this thread or in private if asked to be made such.
Length two weeks, date TBD
Optional (!) but recommended
Sign here to agree to take part ______________
Inductee agrees:
Clove is your new God
Your religion is a joke, please see the History Channel
Life is hard alone
Labels on sexuality mean shit within the harem, but outside Harem activities are fine to use
Some form of codependence is expected after long-term participation in harem activities
Polyamory was not invented by raunchy hipsters and takes many forms
Overall consignment to induction into Clove’s harem including but not limited to full acknowledgement of how this is a terrible idea and that the joke is that Clove is maybe/sorta serious.
Inductee Name __________________
Inductee signature __________________
Date signed ___/___/____
If necessary, participation in a two-week intensive is recommended for getting you used to listening to and/or joining in with the rest of the group drunkenly/under the influence-like singing songs about using heroin use, suicide, and/or preferred manners of dying before collective sobbing and/or marathons of really bad/cult 90s/80s movies begins.
The two-week intensive is a serious suggestion. The boot camp would, more specifically, be for strengthening mental faculties and teaching the art of accepting the futility of most situations.
After the third time round of When It’s Cold I’d Like to Die by Moby, I have seen a grown man (Owl, you piteous fuckass) crumble, so I would recommend the Intensive to all, but it shall remain optional.
I will seriously draft out a lengthy contract. Now. Here.
Mission statement for Clove’s Harem:
Our goal is the creation of a conciliatory environment for the depraved, ultimately run tyrannically by Clove and the cackling terrors that in turn govern her actions.
Forbidden/taboo within the Harem: bleeding in full bathtubs, partaking in a joint you did not roll yourself for safety issues, tentacles being spoken of in a negative fashion, the shoving of dirty rulers up pretty anuses, the asking of Clove to speak at another funeral, and mushrooms and baked beans.
The following agreement is made to establish a relationship between the Harem and the inductee, with regard to the Harem’s policies.
Section 1:
Assuaging functions. (This is at your convenience, but mandatory when situation presented immediately before you in real time.) Full responsibility for the calming of all other harem members in need of such functions comes into effect upon induction into harem.
Sadly including responsibility to act on the possibility of an overdose, panic attack, serious wounds, hysterical episode, rage-possessed episode, being in a hospital if not needing to be in a hospital, and similar cases in which the one in need of help is not within their average use of mental faculties or having a physical wound/ailment. Assistance posthaste is mandatory.
Sign here to agree ___________________
Section 2:
Concupiscent functions. (Sexy times.)
Sign here to agree ___________________
Section 3:
Possession/ownership/domination, correct and safe S&M. Such activates are to be taken case-by-case, with safety words, rules, boundaries and limitations all set up beforehand in each specific case. Expressions of ownership may, however, include simple gestures are not limited to bed-play/foreplay/during coitus/after coitus.
Sign here to agree ___________________
Section 4:
Cheesepuffs.
Cheesepuffs are for special occasions. These occasions must at least vaguely be related to a failed attempt to pacify. After attempt has been made, the buying and sharing of the cheesepuffs, or Cheetoes, is highly suggested to commence. The disgusting preservatives and not-real-cheese flavors ought to be imbibed only on special occasions and often leading into either Tear situations or Bullshit activities.
Initial here if agreeing to participate in this function at any time in the future towards any harem member _______
Section 5:
“Tear” situations. Participating in purposefully saddening and/or maddening activities with the two or more members of the harem.
Including but not limited to: 90s/80s flicks, terrible songs about drug use and dying, the sharing of fanfiction/comics/book recommendations, discussions concerning man-made concepts which control society/peoples delving into personal stories and situations, sharing music, roaming in graveyards like cliché Goths, and the wearing of clothes much too big for your frame.
Section 6:
Bullshit. The putting up with and celebration of mankind’s most popular and unavoidable past time should be taken as an art form of high degree and analyzed and inspected as such.
Initial here if agreeing to participate in discussions on/about/including bullshit ______
Intensive:
For bettering the abilities of the inductees to partake in activities herein stated or implied. Course is probably including: group discussions amongst those in the Intensive, assignments given and properly corrected, no graded assessments, the violent destruction of prior beliefs/world views, the mandatory creation of a DropBox account for the sharing of reading assignments and (free) music sharing.
Any group discussions to occur for the Intensive would be within this thread or in private if asked to be made such.
Length two weeks, date TBD
Optional (!) but recommended
Sign here to agree to take part ______________
Inductee agrees:
Clove is your new God
Your religion is a joke, please see the History Channel
Life is hard alone
Labels on sexuality mean shit within the harem, but outside Harem activities are fine to use
Some form of codependence is expected after long-term participation in harem activities
Polyamory was not invented by raunchy hipsters and takes many forms
Overall consignment to induction into Clove’s harem including but not limited to full acknowledgement of how this is a terrible idea and that the joke is that Clove is maybe/sorta serious.
Inductee Name __________________
Inductee signature __________________
Date signed ___/___/____